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Somewhere between 3 and 4 stars It is hard to rate a book like this one Excellent book well written brave and truthful This book is a breakthrough with a lot of wit and beauty as well as raw pain This book had a lot of potential It s premise was uite uniue rape perpetrator and survivor engage in years of co I hear Thordis and Tom in a TED radio hour on Forgiveness and I am currently in training to be a volunteer on my local rape crisis center phone hotline The topic resonated obviously and I thought this might be a good book to pick up i am also thinking to pick up I am also thinking about restorative justice and Thordis s approach to Tom is uniue in that she is less vindictive than one would expect and open to iscussion rather than punishmentThe book Academic Body does a great job of explaining their complex relationship both at the time of the 1996 attack anduring their reunion in 2000 I think it highlights a lot of the intricacies faced by survivor and attacker when they share mutual friends and acuaintances and are faced with each other into the future Learning that over 90% of survivors know their attackers the reality of having to face each other is very real and the honesty with which Thordis presents her own rationale and behavior in 2000 is illuminating It makes perfect sense that her reaction to him 4 years later could be one in which she attempts to lash out at him and take back some of the control I found myself wondering about whether we should consider her the sexual attacker in some of these later scenes as she used her attractiveness to hurt him Clearly the violence and pain she inflicted on him was less than he had inflicted on her but the scenes Saint Germain On Alchemy do not exactly glow with mutual consentUltimately though this is a book about finding forgiveness and ability to move forward Thordis and Tom go to great lengths to explore not just the events of that horrible night in 1996 and the summer of 2000 but the ways in which those events reverberated throughout both of their lives Theifference between Thordis s experience of having something Chasing the Red Queen done to her and Tom s experience of continuallyoing something to himself is accentuated several times most poignantly I thought when Thordis expresses her frustration with his self pity I clench my jaw in iscontent There s a fine line between feeling sorry for having made s a fine line between feeling sorry for having made mistake and feeling sorry for yourself of having made a mistake In my opinion Tom crossed this line a few times in a our correspondence which left me feeling pressured to take pity on him for being the horrible unworthy failure of a person he fel. A woman a man a rape and a hard journey from violence to reconciliationOne ordinary spring morning in Reykjavik Thordis Elva kisses her son and partner goodbye before boarding a plane to o an extraordinary thing fly seven thousand miles south to meet up with the man who raped her when she was just sixteenMeanwhile in Sydney Australia Tom Stran. South of Forgiveness

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READ & DOWNLOAD ´ VAPE4STYLE.CO.UK Þ Thordis Elva

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Says in The Columbia Guide to South African Literature in English Since 1945 (The Columbia Guides to Literature Since 1945) defense of the project The way the world talks about rape the focus is on the survivors which forgets the why rape exists ie rapists Rape survivors cannot prevent rape Only rapists can prevent rape So it s time we stop treating sexual violence as a women s issue Rapists are predominantly men Whyoesn t that make it a men s issue Further blindly condemning for the rest of their life a rapist as nothing or less than a rapist is so futile If we refuse to allow them to come out and admit it and allow them to take responsibility and make amends how can we as a society ever hope to change the fact that rape happens If all men refuse to talk about rape if women are the only ones talking about it then we are left with this Many men Hijacking the Brain don t even understand that they ve raped someone So they need to start talking To own up To put themselves onisplay the way many victims 僕のヒーローアカデミア 3-4 do To talk to each other about it as women talk about sexual assault among themselves Another thing You go into this book assuming you will sympathize with Thordis and hate Tom Youo both in part but their respective roles as rapist and survivor The Path to Gay Rights do notominate over the fact that they are both people I was surprised to
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that on personal level I liked Tom a lot than I are both people I was surprised to find that on a personal level I liked Tom a lot than I Thordis Though to be honest I can t say I liked either of them Karen vs Alien deeply Tom was occasionally selfish in what he wanted his comment that he hopes the trip will end all communication between them considering Thordis plainly has come toepend on their emails and has a lot of complicated feelings towards their constant communication and frankly I think she loves him a bit Gendered Citizenships didn t need to be said Then Thordis is just painfully petty at times She 100% has the right to be angry at him for raping her But the level of unrelated pettiness she gets to at times is just staggering and irritating Also she seeply judgmental of people in general And sanctimonious And very fond of muttering nasty little comments in her head On the other hand even if I Alien Disclosure at Area 51 don t personally like them I admire and respect them both Yes even the rapist Everyone is than the worst thing they ve everone Both Thordis and Tom embarked on this incredible project to confront themselves their own vulnerabilities their Singing the Law dark complicated history and come out the other side And try to share their story with other survivors and rapists to openialogue up And the ending is very rich and satisfying And I Alchemic definitely had better feelings toward both of them by the end than Iid at the beginningLot of complicated feelings in this book basically. Nger to violence and the healing power of forgiveness South of Forgiveness is an unprecedented collaboration between a survivor and a perpetrator each eually committed to exploring the arkest moment of their lives It is a true story about being bent but not broken of facing fear with courage and of finding hope even in the most wounded of plac. T he was Not only have I always found it ridiculous and out of place for me to pity Tom but I also believe of place for me to pity Tom but I also believe if people settle into the idea that they re beyond salvation it hinders them from oing constructive things with their livesThordis is an amazing survivor who has Problem Solving in Data Structures Algorithms Using C++ done incredible work in this field her ability to face her ownemons and be willing to help Tom face his is remarkable I think it also provides Tom face his is remarkable I think it also provides great blue print for thinking about ways to continue to grow restorative justice programs not when the survivors are unwilling but as a way to move towards greater understanding and healing in societyShe also puts the rape in the context of rape culture and misogynistic value multiple times most clearly here But of rape culture and misogynistic value multiple times most clearly here But raped me because I m a girl a girl you felt entitled to Something gave you the idea that your pleasure mattered than my consent even if I was too sick to consent to anything I Literature of Africa don t know why Tom But I believe it has something too with the fact that men have power and influence on all levels of society and that s how it s been for centuries Perhaps this archaic tradition has caused people to adapt to the notion that men are simply important that women Perhaps that s why you felt that you and your lust mattered than me that night From what I know you re what most people would call a normal guy which is why I believe this incident to be part of a much bigger picture where women have less value than men Overall it is a very important book that addresses a topic on which society needs to change Talking about pointing fingers at and understanding the subtle ways in which we socialize boys and girls will help change the rape culture in which we live This is a very complicated emotionally charged book that will make you feel incredibly uncomfortable in a lot of Women and Sustainable Agriculture: Interviews With 14 Agents of Change different waysIt s a bizarre project I totally understand the idea of wanting to confront this person and meet and find a way to put it behind you But flying to South Africa a place very far from both of you too it Spending a week Crossing the color line in American politics and African American literature doing it But then everyone approaches things in their own way Who are we toecide what fits someone s forgiveness someone else s redemption This book and the authors talks have gotten a lot of controversy But I ll say this I Rebuilding don t agree with any of it First of all no one not rapists not murderers are as bad as the worst thing they have everone And every survivor of violence is entitled to find their own way including Thordis If this is what works for her who are we to judge I also strongly agree with everything Thordis. Ger nervously embarks on an eually life changing journey wondering whether he is worthy of this meetingAfter exchanging hundreds of searingly honest emails over eight years Thordis and Tom ecided it was time to speak face to face Coming from opposite sides of the globe they meet in the middle in Cape Town South Africa a country that is no stra. ,