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The Unscratchables (EBOOK)

When I was reading The Unscratchables by Cornelius Kane I could not stop smiling I just really enjoyed reading this book And when it was done I was sad to know that he never went on to write in what easily could have been and entertaining series of novels But when I sat down to write this review and really started thinking about why I liked the book I became stumped Why did I like this novel Looking at it critically all I can do is scratch my head it critically all I can do is scratch my head confusion and wondermentLet s start out by looking at it on head confusion and wondermentLet s start out by looking at it on value It is on the surface a novel set in an alternate reality world in which anthropomorphized cats dogs and at least two foxes live in a New York City like city The novel it written in a classic noir mystery style to start with a hard nosed police detective investigating the apparent angland murder of two known Awakening Spaces: French Caribbean Popular Songs, Music, and Culture gangster muscle Think Mickey Spillane or Dashiell Hammett This right here might be the answer to why I loved this novel I love noir in movies and novels and I love Dogs Combine the two and it almostuarantees that the book is Edge of Venomverse going to be a hit at least for me I mean isn t Asta the best character in the Nick and Nora movies Movies not books I said Now think how awesome it would have been if Asta had been solving the crimes 5 star book so farOk let s discuss puns The puns were never ending and just awful in this book Here let me add to them you could not swing a cat without hitting on pun on every page of this book From a Whippet named Flasha Lightning to an island named Kathattan Mr Kane punned and punned until I thought my eyeballs wereoing to bleed I swear the author even named one character uentin Riossiti just so he could end the novel with the worst pun of the entire novel The thing is the there were so many puns and they were so bad that after a while they actually did become funny Still I m taking off a star for the pun torture 45 star bookMr Kane begged borrowed and paid homage to several sources for his plots His FBI Feline Bureau of Investigation agent Cassius Lap was definitely a cat version of the famous FBI agent Aloysius Prendergast from Douglas Preston and Lincoln Childs novels His character uentin Riossiti is an obvious homage of Thomas Harris s character Hannibal Lecter This sort of begs the uestion did I like the novel because it reminded me of other better novels Sorry Mr Kane but I think I m Alliance Rising: The Hinder Stars I (Alliance-Union Universe) going to have to take of a star for the possible plagiarism Now a 4 star bookThe thing is once youet past the puns the pop culture references and the obvious rip offs from other novels there culture references and the obvious rip offs from other novels there some real meat on this light hearted bone of a story The novel was written in 2009 a full 2 years before the Occupy Wall Street movement but could have been used as a primer for the movement That the author was able to wrap a satire of eneral society being kept ignorant and under control by the wealthy elite with mindless entertainments designed to delight but not to enlighten in an enjoyable murder mystery was ingenious And in this Cornelius Kane stands and delivers I m iving this novel 4 stars Crusher McNash is not thrilled when a murder case ets him paired with Siamese cat Cassius Lap Crusher a bull terrier is not only worried about his image having to be seen around town with a cat he also doesn t like the way Lap is able to make him obey commands The pair investigate some mysterious murders where rottweillers are torn apart by an ordinary housecat which is only the tip of the iceberg in a nefarious scheme While they try to solve the crime Lap makes McNash aware of the psychological warfare oing on everywhere around them and in the end they become the UnscratchablesI enerally enjoy a creative allegory and while this book did have a few recommendable aspects they couldn t overcome its flaws Bad puns ar. Animal Farm meets The Simpsons in this inventive twist on the hard boiled detective novel featuring a world made up exclusively of cats dogs and one ruthless foxBull terrier Crusher McNash is a no nonsense homicide detective who eats out of  the can and only bathes when his boss orders  him  to  He’s  just  been thrownaboneaboutagruesome case involving Rottweilers torn apart by a savage killer and the only lead he’s been able to sniff out is “an impression of movement” at the murder scene Crusher

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The Unscratchables

Cornelius Kane · 2 Read & download

T do well on ladders roofs often leak A dog will throw flea powder on like you and I use deodorant It s a nice touch and makes the world a little bit believable The cats have their own issues and their world while not as drawn out as the dogs world is still logical What really surprised me about the novel however is the social commentary This world is split between the haves the cats and the have not s the dogs We et an earful about Fox News in this case ran by an actual fox social engineering how politics use command words into tricking us and their is such a thing as Neuro linguistic Programing and a variety of other social ills All designed to keep the dogs in their placeHow the powers that be do this is exposed by a botched murder and the subseuent hunt for the murder I won t spoil any of the plotCornelius Kane pen name for writer Anthony O Neill has a lot to tell and frankly that s part of the problem for me This book needs to be a bit longer a few less puns are in order and the book ends on a pun you can see from a mile awayFrankly I didn t care for the ending that I m not oing to ive away I also thought that the ending felt rushed This book felt like it was written for middle school age kids Which is not a This book felt like it was written for middle school age kids Which is not a thing but for sophisticated readers it can be flat and boring in places overall I think they will be disappointed in the bookNow that being said would I recommend this book to others Yes So there s a dog detective trying to solve a Birth and Fortune: The Impact of Numbers on Personal Welfare gruesome murder Clues begin to point to the murderer being A CAT So a prissy cat from Kathattan from the FBI Feline Bureau of Investigation joins the investigation But the dog detective hates Siamese cats Will theyet along No But then yesThere are all the archetypes of the dime store novel but as dogs or cats Mob bosses corrupt side kick cops insane serial killers etc The Hannibal Lector character is named uentin Riossiti Riossiti Get itThere are a million dog or cat puns in this novel There s also a somewhat interesting undercurrent of a conspiracy that lampoons American infantilism through
#consumerism and so #
and so are led to believe there will be a big pay off at the end This novel while sort of silly will lead to something RightWhen the dog detective and cat agent finally finally find the feral murderer finally there will be some point to all of it Right RIGHTNo Riossiti redeems himself by saving the life of the dog detectiveAnd the big payoffis the line Twas Riossiti killed the CatTHE ENDTHAT S ITWHATNOBut yessighThat is not a spoiler no nothing is spoiled because the entire book leads up to the exact absence of substanceOkay so there s an Epilogue about the dog and cat teaming up and taking on corruption as the Unscratchables but really what a lazy ending Awful Or should I say pawful This is one of the most uniue and funny books I ve read lately It combines the style of a Raymond Chandler novel with the whimsy of Babe Picture a world inhabited only by animals where cats and dogs are the dominant species but they o about their daily lives and jobs as humans would in our worldThe writing is brisk and sharp I FOUND IT AMAZING HOW MANY ITEMS ACTS AND EVENTS it amazing how many items acts and events our world could be transposed into feline and canine descriptions as well as animal characters McNash s down to earth narrative style sets the stage and the pace contrasting him with the well to do upper class diction of Lap the Siamese They are a perfect team of black and white opposing forces who are forced to work together to discover the mastermind behind the plot The names of the characters fit perfectly as well as some of them being perfect puns I caught myself laughing aloud than once at the opinions put into their mouths For something new and different and highly entertaining try The Unscratchables Dare I hope for a seuel. Ny streets of Kathattan Soon they begin to uncover a vast con spiracy involving a cat who has been trained as a super killer capable of rowing in size and ferocity and killing any dog who Calvinists Incorporated: Welsh Immigrants on Ohio's Industrial Frontier gets in his way and who may be working for a media baron fox But they’ll need to unravel the conspiracy and uickly if they want to stop the next killing before it’s too lateWitty and irresistibly entertaining thisenre bending mystery boldly mixes human and animal sensibilities in an entertaining satire of our cur rent socie. .

E taken to a brand new level here appearing *IN EVERY PARAGRAPH AND ENCOMPASSING EVERY ASPECT OF THE *every paragraph and encompassing every aspect of the I was already rolling my eyes just a few pages in and it only Stretching Lessons: The Daring that Starts from Within got tedious as the story wore on Though some skill was used in the differing personas of Lap and McNash I found Crusher s inner dialogue than just slightly annoying One of the best things I can say is that this book was short and I won t be seeking out any of its kind Interesting read I both loved and hated it Hilarious at some moments and idiotically inane at others it has a brilliance unto itself As a writer I can t imagine how complicated rewriting our world into a world of cats and dogs so in that way I tip my hat to Mr Kane I can t say the book was completely my taste however relying on puns and turns of common phrases into dog and catspeak This was a fun and surprisinglyood murder mystery set in a world entirely populated by anthropomorphized dogs and cats When t I found this book on the shelves in the rehab facility and it was peculiar but intriguingThe name Cornelius Kane is the pseudonym for a well known Australian author but I have no idea who this might be I went to the Cornelius Kane page on Simon and Schuster and enjoyed reading Author Revealed comments For example WHAT ARE YOUR MOST OVERUSED WORDS OR PHRASES A Do that Author Revealed comments For example WHAT ARE YOUR MOST OVERUSED WORDS OR PHRASES A Do that and I ll kill ya WHAT DO YOU REGRET MOST A Last time I said that See at to the book The story involves a bull terrier detective named Crusher McNash who has to team up with a Siamese agent from the Feline Bureau of Investigation yes the FBI from Kathatten named Cassius Lap to solve the brutal murders to the Feline Bureau of Investigation yes the FBI from Kathatten named Cassius Lap to solve the brutal murders to Rottweilers The FBI is involved because evidence points to a feline as the murdererPuns abound Brad Pitbull Jack Russell Crowe are mentioned in a list of celebrities and McNash carries a Schnauzer Call the Next Witness gunYes there are obvious parallels to human behavior and while bizarre I found this book difficult to put down It was written using the style and language of the hard boiled detectives like Marlowe and Dashiell Hammett s creationsNow if I could figure out who Cornelius Kane is The observant among my followers and friends may have observed that I added this book to the Currently Reading shelf and it moved to the Read shelf in less than 24 hoursThis celerity reflects two things 1 I m on vacation at the moment and have even time than usual to read and 2 the literary heft of this social satireIt s not a bad or unenjoyable read Kane creates a world of Dogs and Cats that mirrors modern Western civilization in itsrowing ineuality between Haves mainly the When I started reading this I thought I might not Building for the Arts: The Strategic Design of Cultural Facilities get far as it seemed kind of corny at first the feline and canine puns were a bit much But as I ventured further into The Kennels and Kathattan I realized this crime tale was much than cheesy jokes It really had claws it had bite and actually turned out to be a decent social commentary on today s society Veryood read I m Bulletproof Feathers: How Science Uses Nature's Secrets to Design Cutting-Edge Technology glad I stuck with it I picked up this book mostly because I wanted something mindless and dumb to read over the Memorial day weekend It takes about a weekend to read tooThis book met thatoal to a degree but it also surprised me in it s biting satire sorry pun intendedIt s an old plot Hard boiled detective forced to work with a prissy FBI agent somehow they come to respect and even like each other Kane borrows a bit from the Casuistry and Modern Ethics: A Poetics of Practical Reasoning genre There is even a serial killer straight out of Silence of the Lambs and no it s not Buffalo BillThe detective is an anthropomorphized dog and the FBI stands for the Feline Bureau of Investigation What I like is that Kane does something that I ve never really seen before in this type of fiction The dogs for the most part act like dogs For example there is no indoor plumbing and since dogs don. Uspects the killer is a cat and there’s nothing he hates than “the whole cream lapping wool juggling pajama wearing fence sitting bird torturing furball coughing lot of them” But he’ll have to start barking up a different tree if he wants help solving this case as his partner on this case is soymilk drinking pressed suit wearing Cassius Lap an agent for the FBI Feline Bureau of InvestigationAs this odd couple puts their paws together their investiga tion takes them from the bow els of the Kennel into the to.