EBOOK / KINDLE Jennifer Government BY Max Barry

Jennifer Government by Max Berry is pure rock n roll satire turned up to ten In the fictional world of the novel American corporations run the world But if you think that means we have the peace of pushing around grocery carts and walking around stores looking for the best sales and visiting strip malls on the way home to pick up a hot dog think again Corporations have always been murderously competitive Think Jack in the Box vs McDonald s Think Nike vs Adidas Think "of corporate marketing ideas such as the Nike President hiring the NRA "corporate marketing ideas such as the Nike President hiring the NRA shoot up ids at a mall in order to increase the street cred of a new Nike shoe to increase sales After fourteen ids are shot dead sales increase 1000 percent Give that merchandising executive a raiseJennifer Government a government police agent works for the rump power that remains of the United States government Hack Nike works for Nike Buy Mitsui works for Mitsui Billy NRA works for the NRA The last name of people is always that of whom they work for If people don t have a job with a company they have no last name at all Taxes are illegal If the government does any work like fight a fire or investigate a "crime they charge upfront before showing up Only the European Union still has governments in control of " they charge upfront before showing up Only the European Union still has governments in control of countries taxes and businesses American corporations are in charge of the rest of the world and they always get paid for their services or there is no serviceJohn Nike has a plan He wants to rid the world of what remains of the government He also wants to get rid of the competitor merchandising group called the Team Advantage an aligned co operative group of corporations Nike belongs to the US Alliance which competes with the corporations of Team Advantage The US Alliance is not aware of John Nike s assassination plot But as John nows all an executive needs to do is take charge assign people to tasks People are sheep John Nike is a psychopath He is confident of his schemes One of those schemes is Animal Ecology killing the teens who line up to be first to buy the new line of Nike shoes He assigned the murder of the mallids to an employee Hack NikeIt is surprising to most people how orders from an executive are often obeyed gentle reader no matter how insane the command as is demonstrated in the book and in the real world despite an employee s ualms or morals Promise of a raise and job promotion threat of a job loss that is all it ever takesJennifer Government Art and Cartography: Six Historical Essays knows John Nike very well She is not aware of his machinations regarding increasing the popularity of Nike s new 2500 shoes but she is aware of his cold ambitious nature She is busy tracking down theiller of the ids at the mall unaware of John Nike s involvement The trail leads her into A MAZE OF CORPORATE AMBITIONS AND BUSINESS ALLIANCES ALL maze of corporate ambitions and business alliances all whom have their own agendas and none now of the others plots The book is absurdist satire Coincidences and close calls and near misses and misunderstandings ensnare all of the characters into grievious difficulties The plot reminds me a bit of what author El Leonard does in injecting fun into his novels but Barry goes in harder and deeper into the land of the absurb creating intensity into the politics of the story rather than invest much than what is necessary for characterization It s a romp through an alternate world well maybe an alternate world where capitalism rules Back a few years after the turn of the century the world was brand crazy More than that it was murderously brand crazy Remember the debacle around Nike Murders in gangland over shoes Or how about the whole stink surrounding the marketing departments who not only capitalized but doubled down on the policies that made thisYeahWell this novel truly capitalizes on THAT And Max Barry takes it all to its natural conclusion Governments are gutted corporations rule everything Do you want your loyalty rewards How about unfettered capitalism without any restrictions whatsoeverPlease have your credit card handy if you want ambulance service Barry is one of my go to guys now Screamingly fast writing razor sharp commentary and wonderful character driven adventures that often pull some great bait n switches Just who are we supposed to feel compassion for Oh my that IS horrible But just WHO is Jennifer Government She s merely one. In Max Barry's twisted hilarious and terrifying vision of the near future the world is run by giant corporations and employees take the last names of the companies they work for It's a globalised ultra capitalist free market paradise Hack Nike is a lowly merchandising officer who's not very good at negotiating his. Ut their consent that s very illegal Vice President John said But the uestion is what does it cost Even if we get found out we burn a few million on legal fees we get fined a few million bottom line we re still way out in front cHack sat in traffic biting his nails This had not been a good day He was beginning to think that visiting the marketing floor for a cup of water was the worst mistake he d ever madec Well that s cheaper We can make sure we don t take out anyone with means For you Anarchist Modernism: Art, Politics, and the First American Avant-Garde know retribution And you need ten capped so there s a bulk discount We could do this for say one fifty cJeeps were one of the safest vehicles on the road Buy had read safe for people in the Jeep anywaycUntil recently Buy had thought that moving to a USA country was the best move he d ever made with the possible exception of changing his name from Jean Paulc Inow first aid Not many people did there was too much risk of being sued c Nine eleven Emergency how can I help you I need an ambulance uickly a girl has been shot at the Chadstone Wal Mart mall Certainly sir Can you tell me the girl s name Hayley Hayley something Please come straight away Sir I need to now if the victim is part of our register the operator said If she s one of our clients we ll be there within a few minutes Otherwise I m happy to recommend I need an ambulance he shouted and it was only when water splashed on his hand

that he realized 
he realized had started to cry I ll pay for it I don t care just come Do you have a credit card sir Yes Send someone now As soon as I confirm your ability to pay sir This will only take a few seconds He looked at the faces around him Someone help her Help her The id who had loaned Buy his cellular nelt down and held the jacket over the wound A girl began stroking Hayley s hair Buy dragged his wallet out from his back pocket and retrieved his credit card Hayley s eyes were fixed on him I promise he told her I promise I have American Express That s fine sir Could You Read Your Card Number read your card number me please Nine seven one four oh three Two shots rang out from somewhere below them close The people around him shrieked and fled only the id stayed crouching lower six six People were screaming Something hit the ground or one of the Mercedes with a deafening boom Sir Are you there I didn t catch the number sir Nine seven The Berlioz and His Century: An Introduction to the Age of Romanticism kid put his hand over Buy s MisterI don t think it matters Hayley was no longer looking at him Her eyes were turned upward at the Nike Town sign at the fluorescent lights Her face was white Oh no Buy said No please Sir the operator said Can you please repeat your credit card number for me sir Sir Are you there Sir Sir cHack what you just saw was a press release We have no intention of hunting down the people responsible because the people responsible are us All rightc You want tonow why Americans took over the world Hack Because they respect achievement Before this was a USA country our ideal was the working class battler for Christ s sake If Australians ruled the world everyone would work one day a week and bitch about the pay He shook his head Then there s the British who thought there was something wrong with making money No surprise they ended up issing the colony s ass The Japanese they think the pinnacle of achievement is a Government job The Chinese are Communist the Germans are Socialists the Russians are brokewho does that leave Canada America John said The United fucking States of America the country founded on free market capitalizm I tell you those Founding Fathers new their shit c You mean the one time you did something nice for no reason the person died cHe reddened Well we still need that information It may not seem important to you but this is a serious suit She couldn t help it she looked at his suitcIn order to pursue the perpetrators we need funding yes The Government s budget only extends to preventing crime not punishing it For a retributive investigation we can only proceed if we can obtain fundingcHack said See there s this body in my itchen You re meant to call first the agent said To set up an appointment We can t drop everything just because you walk in cHe smiled Trespass was an assault against property and therefore a crime but fraud was fine fraud was practically a constitutional right like free speechc. For a subcontracting deal and lease the assassination to the experienced NRA Enter Jennifer Government a tough talking agent with a barcode tattoo under her eye and a personal problem with John Nike the boss of the other John Nike And a gun Hack is about to find out what it really means to mess with market forces. Jennifer GovernmentIn a fairly large cast of characters who must be defined by their job I d say the conceit is unrealistic but I recently had to change my name to Brad Writer Branding is everything you now If asked to write the foreword to some 20th anniversary commemorative edition I would say that Max Barry s Jennifer Government is like a bottle of Diet Neal Stephenson served with a twist of Christopher Moore or perhaps a dash of Tom Robbins There is something uncannily similar between Snow Crash and Jennifer Government in the comic book pacing in the hyperbolic and impossible but chillingly familiar geo political climate that he illustrates in the characters that reek of auto erotic caricature and yet are so well drawn so believable and sympathetic and damn plausible You can see YT dropping out of school because of girls like Haley McDonald "s You can see NRA franchises competing against La Cosa Nostra in the " You can see NRA franchises competing against La Cosa Nostra in the You can imagine Hiro Protagonist sub contracted by Jennifer Government to fend off Violet ExxonMobil You wonder how the milieus of these novels aren t linkedBut even if you haven t read Snow Crash even if you aren t making those comparisons you will find this one wholly enjoyable It has an immediate start thrusts you headlong into the story already in progress but makes sure to catch you up just as uickly And it never loses this momentum The chapters coming at you fast each about 3 5 pages and are fairly dialogue driven Before you now it you ll find you ve burned through 100 pages THIS IS NOT A BAD THING The narrative draws you in the prose gets out of the way and the characters encourage you to get investedBorderline 5 star review There is a whimsy to this tale that draws on a lot of familiar dystopian capitalist tropes eg the libertarian anarchy of free market capitalism run amok it borders on cliche but doesn t uite cross the frontier into hackneyed territory That it gets that close that the prose taps its toes on cliche s fences is where we lose the fifth star in the rating But that the narrative goes there so unabashedly in all of its over the top banality that is a beautiful thing A marketopia populated by the rabid people surnamed after the companies they work for An inane world for profit Tongue in the cheek market worshipping leading to perception of capital and enterprise as the pinnacle of human achievement And don t forget your constitutional rights fraud included Add to that all the nice touches The gun of sentimental value The nike hype the john guy assaulting a gal hype The John guy assaulting a gal all the way threatening to sue her for damages Wow Consider me a Max Barry convert Hey don t worry about it Vice President John said Career change can be very stressful I read that somewhere cHack was a Merchandise Distribution Officer This meant when Nike made up a bunch of posters or caps or beach towels Hack had to send them to the right place Also if someone called up complaining about missing posters or caps or beach towels Hack had to take the call It wasn t as exciting as it used to becThey were smiling at him as if he was an eual but of course Hack was on the wrong floorcThen they stuck out their hands I m John Nike Guerrilla Marketing Operative New Products And I m John Nike Guerrilla Marketing Vice President New Products the other suit saidc Hack we need someone who can make snap decisions A fast mover Someone who can get things done With a minimum of fucking around If that s not your style well let s forget we spoke No harm done You stick to Merchandising Vice President John reached for the contract I can sign it now Hack said tightening his gripc Yeah Hack hoped he sounded confident He didn t really understand marketingc So you now what we re going to do He shook his head We re going to shoot them Vice President John said We re going to Edge of Venomverse kill anyone who buys a pair c I remember when you could always rely on those little streetids to pop a few people for the latest Nikes Vice President John said Now people get mugged for Reeboks for Adidas for generics for Christ s sake The ghettos have no fashion sense any the other John said I swear they ll wear anything c Um Hack said He swallowed Isn t this Alliance Rising: The Hinder Stars I (Alliance-Union Universe) kind ofillegal He wants tonow if it s illegal the other John said amused You re a funny guy Hack Yes it s illegal illing people witho. Salary So when John Nike and John Nike executives from the promised land of Marketing offer him a contract he signs without reading it Unfortunately Hack's new contract involves shooting teenagers to build up street cred for Nike's new line of 2500 trainers Hack goes to the police but they assume that he's asking. ,

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